The Harry Potter Advice Column
by phlyXbyXnite
Summary: So basically this is like one of those Dear Abby columns you see in newspapers and such. Ask any charecter any question at all...and I mean ANYTHING Discleimer: I DO NOT OWN HP!
1. Opening Words

Okay…so.

I got the idea from BakaKonekoRKL on who did it first for Fullmetal Alchemist. Which proves I have no life…haha!

Basically, it's like those "Dear Abby" columns in the newspaper or whatever, except your favorite characters from Harry Potter will be answering your questions about anything…and I mean absolutely anything! However I must ask to keep it slightly clean since the rating is Teen.

So just put your question into a review and I'll answer them as fast as possible so there'll be several Q&As per column. Or chapter. Whatever you want to call it. If you want a specific character to answer, just put it in the question, otherwise whoever wants to will answer it, so watch out! XD I plan to make this as hilarious as possible so be ready for the laugh factor, by the way.

I'm looking forward to this and hope that people partake in and enjoy this!

Love,

_phlyXbyXnite_


	2. Chapter 1

From: LILYandJAMESareCUTE

Ok, this is a question I'd like to ask, but it has to do with HP, so I don't know if they can answer it lol, but do you think James was Head boy? Lol :P

James: Well, I could have been head boy if someone hadn't stolen that away from me…

Lily:sigh: James…

James: What? It's a perfectly plausible argument!…He's and idiot!

Harry: I hate it when they do that…

From: TheMarshmalowWizardGhostCookie

Dear Harry Hotter-oops POTTER! I MEANT POTTER!

I love a guy at my school that looks just like you (without the scar) and he's also British! I really want him to like me but since I'm a muggle I can't slip him a love potion. What should I do? Give up? Ask him out? Hold him hostage? I'M SO CONFUSED! Please help!

UnluckyInLove

Harry: Wow…

Ginny: BACK OFF LADY! He's mine…3

Harry: I'm really not good at this…you want to try, Gin?

Ginny: Well, alright…as long as she knows that you are MINE.

Harry: I'm sure she gets it, Ginny. Please get on with it.

Ginny: sigh Well, in my experience…

Hermione: Which is a lot…

Ginny: Stuff it Hermione.

Hermione: What? I'm only stating facts…

Ron: Can you ladies just get this over with already? I'm hungry.

Harry: Your always hungry, Ron.

Ginny: Can I just get on with it please?

Ron: Be our guest.

Ginny: Okay, well, you like him? Right? Then just try to get close to him (not necessarily physically close but that could help too) and learn about him. Just talk to him. And flirt constantly but don't be a slut about it…that's a nasty way to start rumors.

Hermione:sniggers in the corner:

Ginny:glare: Just because YOU didn't get caught making out behind a tapestry.

Harry: Okay, conversation- over.

From: Marauder-Feathers

Update soon.

For Sirius.

After Azkaban did anyone comment on your hair?

Sirius: Well, of course they did!

Remus:rolls eyes: Here we go…

Sirius: All of the ladies thought I was one sexy beast.

Remus: Oh, be reasonable, Sirius!

Sirius: What?

Remus: Be honest, please.

Sirius: Oh fine. They said I looked like I'd spend a few years as a dog.

Harry:snickers:

Sirius: But then when I unleashed my amazing charm on them --

James: What, they ran away?

Remus: No, they laughed. And then they ran away.

Harry: Woof woof. XD

Sirius: You have no room to talk, Scary Potter.

Harry: Excuse me?

Sirius: Ever heard of a brush and comb?

Harry:self-consciously flattens hair: It's not that bad…

Ginny: It kind of is…

Harry: No its not.

Ginny: Yes it really is.

Harry: No its not.

Everyone: YES IT IS!

Harry:taken aback: Jeeze, way to gang up on the savior of the free world…

From: JeanieBeanie33

Voldy, why did you kill your father? Why the heck couldn't you just bloody go to therapy and move on with your life? GOD!

Voldemort: YOU WILL PAY!!

Snape: IN COOKIES:3

Ron: I think something snapped in him O.o…

Snape: VALENTINES FOR EVERYONE! XD

Hermione: Oh yeah.

Harry: He's lost it.

Ginny: Big time.

Ron: What a fruit.

James: That's actually an interesting question, Voldy. Why _did_ you kill your dear old dad?

Voldemort: BECAUSE HE HAD TO PAY!

Dumbledore: Actually, what Tom is trying to say is that he felt contempt for his father after he learned the truth of his birth. He felt the need to seek revenge so he found it where the only family he had was. He made sure that there was naught but him left.

Lucius: Just because you're flaming doesn't mean you have to sick us with your emotional queerness.

Dumbledore:fiery-wand-blast: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY!

Snape: I think someone needs a cupcake XD.

Harry: In other words, he wanted to make sure that if he couldn't have his dead-beat dad, no one could. Right?

Dumbledore: Exactly.

Voldemort:evil glare: Oh, you'll all pay…


End file.
